Did
you know that they publish He-Man comics here in India? I literally
jumped for joy when I saw this. They don't publicise it or anything,
but it's there! The stories in these comics are not bad; they
all seem to be reprints of original Masters of the Universe
comics.
The
only thing is, I'm not sure whether these guys really bought
the rights or took permission to print this stuff here. It looks
like they just scan some old 1980s MotU comics and print them
out, because images in several stories seem oddly stretched,
as though they're trying to cover up old advertisements. If
these comics are printed with permission, it's the worst job
ever. Also - and I don't know if this was a typo in the original
comics as well - in one story they kept referring to Orko as
"Orka".
Still,
if these comics were available fifteen years ago, I'm sure all
my friends would have shit their pants with excitement. I mean,
this was He-Man
for cryin' out loud! Just look at these frames from the comic
where Skeletor has switched bodies with He-Man and is now taking
a moment to hit on the Sorceress...

Pretty
awesome, huh? You wanna go buy yourself a copy right now, don't
you? Just to see if Skeletor and the Sorceress manage to hook
up? There's a catch, though. The title is printed by Diamond
Comics - the same guys who bring you Chacha Chaudhary - so you
know they just won't let you have a 100% non-shitty reading
experience.
You
see, the comic seems to be sponsored in part by Big Babol gum.
Now, in most sane societies, this would mean placing advertisements
within the comic. But what does Diamond Comics do? They actually
have a two page Big Babol ad starring He-Man before
any of the other stories!
Now
it's obvious that whoever wrote this advertisement doesn't know
jack about He-Man, and have never seen the cartoons or even
read the comic in their lives. We see two opposing camps...
the "slaves of Skaletor"
who are two walking crocodiles; and the "faithfull
servants of He-Man", which is one guy in red spandex.

You
see? Even if you can overlook the spelling of "Skaletor"
and the shitty English that abounds, this is an incredibly weirdass
story in the making. He-Man, for one, is completely out of character.
"Skaletor should die or everything
will be ruined!" This is a guy that spends 29 minutes
of the cartoon trying to defeat Bone-face, and the last 1 minute
saving his life so he can escape to do the same thing next week.
But apparently two walking crocodiles were the last straw, so
now Skaletor must die.
See
that smiling pink ball waving at you from between frames? That's
the Big Babol mascot. You'll be seeing a lot of him in these
two pages. He's so commonplace that none of the other characters
even notice him.
See
Orko in the last frame? He gets an idea: Big Babol. That's another
thing about this ad... they never type Big Babol in
plain text. They always use the logo. Actually they don't use
plain text anywhere in this story - it's all Comic
Sans.

Shall I blow it again?
I'm not quite sure how they made this ad. I'm guessing they
just took random images from He-Man stories, pieced them together
and added their own dialogue in the speech balloons. On the
other hand, the speech balloons are pretty well-defined, and
the colour of He-Man's hair and armour seem a bit off, so this
could actually be original artwork, or at the very least traced
and re-created. Do you realise what this means? They actually
sat down and wrote a story this bizzare. The comics
might be printed here legally, but there is no
way you can convince me that the people in charge
of He-Man would let an advertisement like this be made. I won't
believe it, I won't, I won't.
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