PAGE ONE

Chacha Chaudhary meets Gabbar Singh!

Before reading this, read our previous Chacha Chaudhary reviews: Funny Football; Revenge; Fool's Paradise

We've seen some weird Chacha Chaudhary comics in the past, but what you're about to see will blow you away. Yes, it will cause you to lose your mind. When your brain recovers from the onslaught, the lucky ones among you will be able to retain some sanity by becoming sannyasins, but the rest will wander the streets with no recollection of their former lives.

As we have learnt by now, Chacha Chaudhary is the absolute king of shitty comics. But this is no regular, everyday shittyness... Chacha Chaudhary is so shitty that it is actually fun to read! How many other comics do you know that are the centre of their own cosmic paradox?

Still, nothing can prepare you for what you're about to see. Finally tired of pitting him against pedestrian villians with names like Changu and Mangu, Pran (in his infinite wisdom) decides to have Chacha Chaudhary face off against the most famous villian in Indian cinema - Gabbar Singh!

Yes, that's right. Gabbar Singh. The dacoit leader from the 1979 movie <i>Sholay</i>! Since he dies at the end of that movie, one assumes that this little adventure is set some years before. So if you've ever asked yourself, "Who would win in a fight - Chacha Chaudhary or Gabbar Singh?" you're about to find out. Come on, don't say you've never thought about it.

(COMIC PAGE ONE)

I wish I could say that the lameass artwork in this comic is a side-effect of it being published in 1981. But unfortunately, all Chacha Chaudhary comics look like this. This is even weirder if you read the intro page, where it tells you that Pran, "heart-throb of millions of comic lovers", has a degree in fine arts.

But look at the incredible amount of story they've compressed into one page. In five frames, we've gone from Chacha Chaudhary aimlessly leading a horse around town to Gabbar Singh sitting astride said horse, trying to get it to move. What I admire about this page most is the attempt to beautify shitty drawings with even more shitty artwork. Like the flowers in the bottom-right corner on the first frame. And like the - my god! Look at the second last frame... Gabbar Singh is <i>smiling</i>! But that's short-lived, as he gets pissed off again because the horse doesn't move.

Click to see what happens next!

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PAGE TWO

(COMIC PAGE TWO)

Goddamn, Chacha Chaudhary! Haven't you heard of the SPCA? You're not supposed to be getting your kicks tying crackers to horses' tails! "Now it will run". Holy fuck. Is that how he starts his horse up every morning? I don't know how many years prior to <i>Sholay</i> this story is set, but obviously Gabbar Singh hasn't yet become the cunning murderous dacoit we know and love. Just look at how foolishly he sits there while Chacha Chaudhary ties crackers - crackers! - to the horse's butt. The only way that would make sense is if it were set in an alternate universe where everybody except Chacha Chaudhary is a moron.

Speaking of <i>Sholay</i>, let's compare a picture of Gabbar Singh from the movie with a picture from this story.

(PICTURE: SHOLAY GABBAR)     (PICTURE: CHACHA GABBAR)

At first glance, you might think they're not too similar; but in Chacha Chaudhary's universe of crappy drawings - it's a dead-on likeness. Anyway, aren't you just dying to know how everything turns out? Click "next" to read the thrilling conclusion to this epic tale!

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PAGE THREE

(COMIC PAGE THREE)

Ahhhh... now it all makes sense! The horse was trained by Chacha Chaudhary! Do you realise what that means? The sick fuck actually <i>trained</i> the horse to gallop to the police station every time he set firecrackers to his tail. He could have trained him to do exactly the same thing after just a pat on the back. But no, the senile bastard has to go with the bloody firecrackers.

And in case you haven't figured out why Chacha Chaudhary was suddenly walking around with a horse, why he went though all the trouble orchestrating this weird twisted plan, it's spelled out for you right there:

(50,000 CHEQUE IMAGE)

For an old man with basically just one set of clothes, he's frighteningly greedy.

All in all, this story has everything you need to enjoy a Chacha Chaudhary comic - weird translations, screwed up drawings, and a form of logic that could fry any child's mental faculties. Plus... it has Gabbar Singh. Yes, this story had everything... except Sabu. This world would be a better place if all stories had more Sabu in them. In fact, even <i>Sholay</i> could have been made better by simply including Sabu in it. Can't you just see it?

(SABU SHOLAY IMAGE)